Susie and I spoke for a good half hour last night, and again this evening. They were real heart-to-heart sessions about our genuine feelings, and I have learned a few things:
1) She is still in love with her ex-lover, A. A few years ago she aborted his child because he wouldn't give up his partner for her. He is still with his partner but again wants to spend time with Susie. Despite her feelings, she believes nothing has changed.
2) She believes that, all else being equal, she and I could have a relationship. I am apparently "saying all the right things", I am "really lovely" and she thinks we could have a wonderful relationship and be really happy. BUT! There is something in her heart that she cannot at present explain that is telling her not to. That is why she has occasionally suggested I move on.
3) She wants to have a relationship. She likes being in one and does not want to be single.
4) I now believe that this 'something' is A. I believe that she needs to resolve this issue with him, and determine for herself whether that is what has been holding her back.
There is a chance, obviously, that she decides he is now serious about wanting to get back together, he dumps his long-term partner, as he has been threatening to do for years, and the two of them get together.
There is, I hope, an equal chance that something will happen to make her fall out of love with him, if that's possible. Or at least decide that a relationship with him cannot work - that he cannot give her what she wants - and she will then choose me.
Although she is planning to go away next week, she has promised to contact me again by Sunday, and promised that we will get together for a face-to-face discussion when she gets back. I look forward to it.
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