Telephone relationship

Susie and I spoke on the phone again this evening. It seems I got my wish. She did plan to go to France with A, her ex-lover, but said that the opportunity to go away with him has now passed. They have spent some time together and he is, apparently, more attentive, more caring. And I am more jealous.... He has still not left his long-term girlfriend, however. So there is hope.

I said that, because she still loves him and is still contemplating a relationship with him, even if she and I were together, I was worried that the two of them would have an affair - why not, she's done it before? She said adamantly that she would not do that once she made the decision to commit to another relationship.

However, in contrast to her earlier statement, she is now not sure she wants a relationship at all, because she says, she is afraid of getting hurt. Considering that, while speaking to a friend recently, she referred to me as "perfect husband material", you can understand my confusion as to why she would not want to grasp the opportunity with both hands.

She is clearly very confused. I keep wanting to try to clear things up whenever I talk to her, but it just makes things worse. I keep wanting to convince her that a relationship with me would be right, but the more I try, the more I feel I am making things worse. In this, I am my own worst enemy. If I am not careful, I will drive her away for ever. I couldn't bear that.

This is becoming really difficult. Not that it wasn't before; it's just that I cannot confidently see a resolution that I will be happy with. I don't see our relationship progressing. Despite all the wonderful things she says and the apparent logic of us being together, her feelings cannot be denied, and I have no idea how long I may have to wait. That, I suppose, is why she suggested we stop seeing each other in the first place.