Jealousy and Insecurity

I haven't posted anything here for some time now. A lot has happened since I last wrote here, but I am not about to bring this blog up to date right now. This post is simply a rant on the subject of jealousy.

Jealousy is one of the original twelve deadly sins, and I have recently been reminded of how destructive it can be.

A very good female friend of mine has fallen for a really nice guy. It has been one of those situations where two people just 'click' and there is instant chemistry. She texted me after their first date to say "I'm in Love". I was thrilled for her, because she so deserves someone to make her happy. She has so much to give, and is such a loveable person, but she has had a lousy last few years, having experienced too much tragedy for any one person. This, I thought, was potentially the start of a new and happier chapter in her life.

Then last night we met for a dinner and a drink, and while sitting in the cool evening air outside her local pub, we talked about love and relationships. Her man - we'll call him Mike - has started asking her where she is and what she is doing. All the time. He seems to be so insecure that he cannot stand not knowing where she is and what she is doing every minute of the day. He was apparently not happy that she was meeting one of her male friends for dinner, for example.

My friend was really sad about this. She, like many people these days, has a number of friends of the opposite sex. She doesn't sleep with them; they are just friends. She values these relationships, and does not want to give up any of them. And why should she? But that seems to be what Mike is expecting her to do.

He appears to not trust her to be faithful, even in the most innocent of situations. If he is so insecure this early in the relationship, she fears that it can only get worse; that she will be, in effect, his exclusive 'property', that she will eventually have no life of her own. And this she will not tolerate. When later on, I told her that I was on the verge of breaking up with my girlfriend, she said that in a few months we might be back at the same pub having the same conversation about her relationship. She is that concerned. She is seriously considering ending the relationship if this behaviour continues.

She is an honest and trustworthy person of the highest integrity. And she deserves to be trusted and respected as well as loved. Mike, the tighter you grip, the more she will slip through your fingers.

End of rant.