Thinking about it

I spoke to V today, and found out why she hasn't been speaking to me recently.

After getting no reply from her mobile, then having my calls rejected, I called her home number, which she may have forgotten I had. Co-incidentally, she had just sent me an email, which explained that she no longer thought I was a suitable guy for her. It relates to our conversation last week, during which I told her some of the things Mary and I got up to during our time together. V spent two days thinking about it, then decided that she didn't want to be involved with someone who had once been a swinger, and did things he's not proud of.

Ironically, I told her all this because I wanted to be honest with her, and I specifically mentioned that I no longer wanted that lifestyle. Perhaps she missed that last part or didn't believe it.

Anyway, today I reminded her of this, and asked only that she take 24 hours to think about it. I await her response. I am trying to think about how I will feel if she does not change her mind. A key factor is that I have believed that our relationship has been over since Thursday, so I have had time to consider it. My conclusion is that :
1) Although she is a lovely person and I enjoy spending time with her, I do not love her, and don't think I ever will.
2) My heart belongs to Susie.