Mel contacted me again yesterday. She sent an email to my work address. It was just like numerous others she has sent after our previous break-ups - she waits a few weeks then when she starts missing me or something, she sends me a one-liner :
"Hope you are okay."
We exchanged emails for the rest of the day. She is still in the same financial trouble she was in a month or more ago and once again, she would like to see me again.
Deja vu. I know exactly how this will go. I will arrange to meet her in a pub near London Bridge after work. We will have a drink and she will tell me she still loves me and wants to stay in touch. I will tell her that my feelings haven't changed and I want to see her again too. She will also of course say that she's not ready for a relationship, as she has too many things to 'sort out'. She won't agree to spend the night with me, but will want to stay friends. I will go home alone, disappointed again.
That's exactly the way it happened last time, and I have no doubt that's the way it will happen this time too. I am not sure I can be just her friend; I like her for her body - we had some great sex, and I still fantasize about some of the times we spent naked and the unfulfilled fantasies we shared with each other. I would love to make some of those come true but I can only do that if she wants a relationship and is prepared to spend at least some nights with me on a regular basis.
So do I meet her or not?
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