Friends

Out of the blue, and against expectations, Susie sent me a text on Tuesday evening asking what I had in mind for Wednesday evening. It seems she had decided to make some time to get out after all. I cannot tell you how thrilled I was.

The next morning I got up early, put on my best suit and made sure I looked my best. Then on the way to work, she sent me another text saying she had to cancel as she was unwell.

It's the let-down that makes us so disappointed, isn't it. I spent all yesterday feeling miserable. I shouldn't feel so strongly about someone I have only met once, but there you have it - I do.

Then came the bombshell. When I got home she had sent me an email explaining that she still loves her husband. Although he said he's not coming back, she still has strong feelings for him and is not ready for a relationship at the moment. She still wants to be friends, and I know I'd like that, but I know I want more than that. This woman ticks all the boxes, and then some.

I will therefore be patient. I will be her friend, and when she IS ready for a relationship, I will be there for her. There is a little voice within me, though, that is afraid we will never be a couple.

I wish this emotional roller-coaster would stop; I want to get off.