L seemed determined to get me drunk last night, offering me a glass of red wine almost as soon as I got in and we had finished the obligatory extended hug. As it turned out, she knows nothing about red wine - seriously, even less than me. When I took a sip, it tasted a lot sweeter than I had expected. She had bought M&S mulled wine! And poured it cold. Bless.
After dinner we curled up on the couch and watched Apocalypto. She chose it from a selection I had brought with me at her request, but in retrospect, that was probably not the best she could have chosen. She was distracted throughout, getting more and more tipsy and melancholy. Today she and her daughter are driving up to visit her old friend who has apparently got meningitis, although her symptoms are not fully explained by that diagnosis. I have asked her to call me later to let me know how she is.
I have never met her friend, but L is important to me. She is such a fragile soul. This looks to be the most recent chapter in a particularly tragic last 5 years that started with the death of her brother. Another good friend died just a couple of weeks ago and now this.
I hope L does not completely self-destruct; I won't know what to do. I want to be there for her and to help her as much as I can, but we cope with death in completely different ways. I can accept tragedy head on, deal with it and move on. I did when my brother died and again when my father died. Mourning, for me is a brief period during which I try to work out the 'hows' if not the 'whys', assess what the implications are for the future and move on.
L has been mourning her brothers death for 5 years, and to this day cannot help but feel down whenever she is reminded of him.
I fear this may be a difficult time indeed for her. Any tips on how to help would be gratefully appreciated.
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