Ups and Downs

Rainy Sunday afternoons should, if you think about it, be spent doing all those little indoor chores. However, when you didn't get home till 2:15 in the morning after spending an hour snogging in the car after an lovely intimate night of friendly conversation, those chores seem much less appealing, and I found myself reluctant to get off the sofa today.

I watched two programmes on TV that had very different effects on me.

I watched a pre-recorded episode of Seven Ages of Rock, which featured the bands R.E.M. and Nirvana. It obviously focused a lot on Kurt Kobain and I admit to feeling a twinge of sadness even though I was never a huge fan. Tragic deaths like that always leave me a little sad.

I also watched a biography of the real Erin Brockovich, which was uplifting and inspirational. Her story is a dramatic account of an individuals ability to overcome adversity and make a difference through sheer determination and hard work (along with a little talent and being in the right place at the right time).

A large amount of time today has also been spent swapping text messages with Becky. Text messages of a distinctly lustful nature. The hour we spent in my car last night playing tonsil hockey made us both as horny as hell, and it has spilled over into today. We are probably not going to get a chance to do anything about it for some time though.

Ironically, I have also been contacted by two other women - on separate internet dating sites - who, at least on the surface, look very attractive. This, of course, is no real indication of the chances that I will be happy with either of them, but attractiveness is always a bonus, no?

I almost feel guilty, because at the same time that I am dating Becky and we moving into that critical first sexual encounter phase, I am still contemplating dating other women, and there is still the chance that Mary could come back into my life. Something - no, someone - will have to give. I hope it's not Becky; she is such a honey inside and deserves to be treated well. I don't want to hurt her.