Radio

Last night L and I had dinner and then went back to her place. Unfortunately she had her niece staying over, and a neighbour visiting. It was late by the time L and I went upstairs to her bedroom. It was embarrassing when her daughter came home and entered the room to say goodnight to her mother, to find a naked man in bed with her. To her eternal credit, she simply said hello to me (addressing me by name), said goodnight to her mother and went to bed herself.

After about two hours of foreplay, L finally felt ready to make love (I kid you not). It was nice, and we cuddled a lot afterwards, but L has the weirdest bedtime habit - radio. Yes, radio. She keeps her bedside radio on all the time. Even falls asleep to it. Fortunately it has a 'sleep' function so it switches itself off every hour, but it took me a long time to fall asleep, and not long to wake up. I probably had about three hours sleep.

When L got up to make a cup of tea, I got dressed and went downstairs to find the niece asleep on the sofa, and the daughter dressed and ready for work. Again, she greeted me with a smile. She's a cool kid. I left for home at about 8:30.

Driving down the motorway, I tried to understand how I was feeling. Not easy, because I was feeling a number of things.

* Satisfied because I got laid.
* Happy because a woman finds me attractive and her daughter seems to like me too.
* Guilty because I slept with a woman I am not attracted to in the slightest and who's smoking habit I despise.

L and I are friends. We could be great friends, but I do not want a romantic relationship with her. I am beginning to suspect that she might feel differently, despite what she says. We have agreed that this is very much a friends-with-benefits thing, but I am not sure L can settle for that.

Logically what would be best is that we remain just friends; no 'benefits'. But the more I get to know the outwardly naive and reserved woman, the more I know that she can come out of her shell when given half a chance and be as kinky as the next frustrated woman. I like the fact that she likes me and desires me. That she wants to sleep with me again. Am I sad enough to take advantage of that and risk a real friendship?

Apparently.