Guilty

G went to visit his mother again today. This time, though, because N planned to come and pick him up really early, I suggested that G stay the night at N's place. He seemed disturbingly excited at the prospect. Later, he told me that they planned a Rocky-Balboa-till-midnight kind of evening. I hope he was able to wake up this morning.

I told L that I was free, but she had arranged to go to a friends to babysit her young kids. But when I texted her that the house was empty and I felt a little lonely, she suggested spending the night at hers when she got back. I happily agreed, but then, after watching tv I ran a bath and added some Radox, and began to feel really sleepy. By the time I got out and dried myself it was about 11:30 and my eyes felt heavy. And still L had not texted me to say she was home. I lay down on the bed, wondering whether I should get dressed, and what I should wear, but also wondering whether I shouldn't just roll over and go to sleep. I remember hearing my phone - vibrating on silent mode - and being too tired to reach out for it. I slept well.

This morning, I discovered she had sent one text at 12:30 saying she was still at her friends. Then she phoned me just before 1 a.m. then sent another text at 1:22 asking me to let her know I was okay. I felt guilty and sent a text saying sorry.

The other day she asked me if I would want to meet someone - a friend of hers. She made it clear that this friend wasn't to know that she had been set up, but I was to contact her online. I asked what this friend was looking for but got no answer. L promised that if I sent a nice message, that she would tell me more. So I did. We haven't actually spoken since; all our 'conversations' taking place via SMS. I am supposed to go to hers tonight, but with G being away from home last night I am reluctant to fob him off to my mothers again tonight. We still have a date for Tuesday evening, though. We can talk then.