Relationships evolve over time; there is nothing we can do to change that. My relationship with my son is no exception. When his mother left me, he went to live with her for practical reasons more than anything else. Now that she is not around and he is staying with me, our day-to-day interaction is changing every day.
I don't know if he apportioned blame in any particular direction when Mary and I split up, and I haven't wanted to put him on the spot by asking him. Between Mary and N, however, they have done a good job of acquiring a significant slice of his loyalty. The incident a week ago when N asked him (on his mother's behalf) to get hold of Mel's address "without anyone knowing", and he agreed, was a good example and it left a sour taste in my mouth. He was effectively asked to choose between his father and his mum's new boyfriend, and he didn't choose his father. That hurt!
But in the last week or so, he has started to show more affection for me. He is no longer quiet and withdrawn, as he was when his mother was first sent down. He has started to give me spontaneous hugs, which he hasn't done for ages. We talk more, we laugh more, we share more.
There was a brief moment when I resented her for 'dumping' him on me (by being convicted), but now I know that it was also a blessing for me personally. I am getting to spend some time with my son that I would not otherwise have done.
Never underestimate the love of a father for his only son.
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