In need of new memories

My online friend S the other day wrote, "I don't want to be on my own much longer. I get fed up talking to myself, but if I only had friends then that would be ok too, but hey who knows what's around the corner."

On Wednesday, she wrote, "Hi, I hope all is ok. Take care, thinking of you.x" Bless her.

Yesterday she wrote "it would be a shame if you moved from the area...but as you say who knows where any of this will lead, I think I need to pluck up the courage to actually do something about it don't you?".

I get the distinct impression that she is warming to me, and it feels good. I replied that she should pluck up the courage and call me.

She has admitted to, like me, having few friends after she and her husband split up, but she is moving on. She is not seeing anyone at the moment, but is corresponding with two other guys, to whom she is a sort of agony aunt. "...but we have become friends and do not think that it would go any further".

I am sort of hoping that we can meet up soon, and I have given her my work email address and all three phone numbers.

But what am I hoping for?

I think she would make a good friend, and perhaps my son and her daughter might even get along. Am I hoping it develops into something more? I'm not sure yet. I was recently advised by someone else that "it's good to be on your own for a while after a relationship break-up until you 'find yourself', before complicating your life with other people". And she is probably right. Do I really want to dive headlong into being in love with someone else? Committing myself to one person again so soon? Probably not. Although there is a strong desire on my part to get involved with someone to make the break-up seem more real. To stop thinking about Mary and to forge new memories with someone else.

I think more than anything, I want a casual girlfriend. Someone who can be my friend when I need one, and a date on a fairly regular basis. Someone to hold hands with at the cinema, and to kiss and cuddle with on the sofa while watching a soppy late night movie. Someone to make my heart beat faster when I know I'm going to see her. Is that S? Dunno. Watch this space.